WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
