So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize