shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
