I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
