guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
