SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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