I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
