can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
