Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i think im in europe. pls send help
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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