I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
