Got a toothbrush?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You ruined the universe
Randomize
