I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
