are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
