I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
