I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
