My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
