anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
