sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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