I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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