i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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