It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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