my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
