if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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