i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
