thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
