I'm drive I can fine osifer
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize