All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
