So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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