My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize