Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize