I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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