I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
