I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
