I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
