I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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