At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
