where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we made out on top of his cat.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
