I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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