he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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