he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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