I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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