another moral hangover. fuck.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
