We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
