"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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