Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
