Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
