Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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