on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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