This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
