dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
