Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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