just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
