I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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