i need an iv and a liver transplant
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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