What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
