Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize