I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
