never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
