So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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